Having children is a massive milestone for anybody. But, one conflict that may arise when making this decision with your partner is whether to adopt. While adoption can be a great way to give a child a home, many people still want to have their own children. 

So, what do you do if your wife wants to adopt but you don’t? In this article, we’ll be going over how to approach this issue and resolve it with your partner. 

Consider Why You Don’t Want to Adopt

Before talking to your partner about this issue, consider why you’re against adoption.

Maybe you want biological children of your own, or maybe you’re just not ready to have kids at all. Are you open to considering adoption later, or is it something you would never see yourself doing? Take some time to think about what adoption would look like. This can help you decide whether it’s something you could be open to down the line. 

Wherever you stand, take some time to think about this before bringing it up to your partner. This can help you have a more productive conversation when you do bring it up.

Talking to Your Partner About the Decision to Adopt 

baby in crib

Whether you’re adopting or not, having children is a huge decision. This is why it’s so important to talk to your partner openly and honestly. 

First, if you’re not ready to have children or you don’t think it’s the right time, tell this to your partner. While they may disagree, it’s important to be honest about where you’re at. This is especially true before jumping into such a massive commitment.

If you feel strongly about having biological children, express this as well. This way you can have an open conversation about why you both feel the way you do about adoption. 

By talking things through, maybe you’ll both agree that one option works better for you than the other. Or, maybe you can come to a compromise where you have one child of your own, and adopt another later down the line. 

Regardless, you’ll never be able to decide if you don’t communicate honestly and openly with each other. It’s better to express all your thoughts early on rather than wait before it’s too late.

If you and your partner love each other, you should be able to work through this issue and find a solution. While having children can cause strain, communication is the best way to work things out. 

If you’re unable to come to a compromise, consider going to relationship counseling. This can be the best way to resolve your issues in a safe space with some professional help.

Conclusion

Deciding to adopt or have children of your own can put a lot of strain on a relationship. This is especially true if you strongly disagree with each other. But, if you communicate openly with each other, you should be able to come to a compromise.