Relationships can sometimes put a lot of financial strain on one or both of you, especially if you don’t set boundaries. Money can tear a relationship apart. This is why it’s so important to communicate about finances with your partner. 

While it can be nice to buy things for your partner, you should never feel like you’re being drained financially. In this article, we’ll be covering how to talk about money to your partner, and how to set appropriate boundaries. 

How Much Are You Spending on Your Partner?

couple shopping together

First, consider how much money you’re currently spending on your partner. 

Do you mostly spend money on food and gifts for them? Or, do you also feel obligated to make bigger purchases for them like rent and travel expenses? Are you able to afford paying for your partner, or are you going into debt to make these purchases?

Take a look at your bank statements and see how much of your income is going to your partner instead of yourself. While it can be nice to spoil your partner, you should never spend more than you can afford on them. Buying dinners and gifts may be nice, but paying for all their needs can easily become a financial burden.  

Is a significant amount of your income going to your partner’s needs and wants? Are they irresponsible and spending all of your joint money? Are you unable to save any money because of your partner? If so, it may be time to talk with them about your finances. 

How to Talk to Your Partner About Money

In many relationships, one person begins paying for things, and this sets a standard. This is why it’s so important to communicate about your finances so you’re both on the same page. 

Take some time to explain your financial situation, and why you can’t afford to pay for everything. Consider suggesting a compromise so that things are more equal. Depending on your partner’s finances, this may be paying for things 50/50, or just being more frugal in general.

If your partner truly loves you, they should be ok with making some sacrifices to help you feel more secure. Unfortunately, this conversation may reveal that your partner is using you financially. If they make you feel obligated to keep draining yourself for their needs, this is a major red flag. 

If your partner is forcing you to support them, you may want to consider moving on from the relationship. While this may work for some people, it’s an unfair arrangement for most. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries, and make sure your partner understands you’re more than a piggy bank. 

Conclusion

Having conversations about money is very difficult for many couples. However, they are important if you want to have a truly healthy relationship. 

If you feel your girlfriend is draining you financially, communicate this with them. If they truly love you, they will be ok with making some sacrifices. Otherwise, it may be best to move on from the relationship.